Modesty is Beautiful! The Modesty Survey

Modesty had never really been on my radar. I knew what I thought was appropriate and what I thought wasn’t, but never really looked into it any further than that…Until now. With all of the pornography ingrained into our culture, I have been studying and researching what makes men want to look at those things & what can we do to help them? While the answer does not entirely fall on us, I believe a man’s heart needs to be pure and focused on the Lord. The Lord made the answer very clear to me as to my part. As I have been reading, studying and interviewing different people I have discovered one very helpful thing that we as girls/ women can do to help our brothers…How we dress. Men were created very visual beings. It may surprise some of you the thoughts that go through a man’s mind through out the day. Some of them surprised me. As a good friend of mine pointed out to me, “You don’t know what you don’t know.” That is until the Holy Spirit convicts you, or illuminates you, you don’t know that you are doing something wrong. I never thought the way I dressed was making anyone stumble. I had always been appropriate, nothing too revealing, or so I thought. But in my journey I discovered there were some fatal mistakes I was making. Spiritually fatal, that is. Each discovery opened my eyes further to see that I was a stumbling block to my brothers in Christ and even to other women’s husbands. Here are some of the resources I received on this journey that I would like to share with you. They have helped me a great deal to create my own family standard of dressing modestly. A friend of mine studied Scripture to see what it said about nakedness. She found that every scripture on nakedness was a woman’s thigh showing. After I found the “Modesty Survey” I realized that ANY cleavage showing was a stumbling block for men. So my friend made up a catchy little tune,” Neck to knee, no one should see!” I thought it was cute and that is the standard my family tries to live by. Also after reading research about how men’s eyes immediately go to a girl’s crotch when she wear pants, I did a screeching halt. I surely don’t want anyone but my husband looking at that area or anyone looking at my daughters in that way except their husbands, so trying to wear pants after knowing these things really convicted me. We now wear skirts or dresses 90% or more of the time. My daughters have also chosen to do this on their own. Even after I told them it was o.k. for them to wear pants because there were no more clean skirts until I did laundry, they insisted on finding a dress to wear instead. These are our families own personal convictions. Not every family will have the same journey as we did. I just want to bring to light some of the truth we have learned to educate and encourage fellow sisters to be mindful of their dress.To do further research, read below for some more resources on modesty.

Then God Clothed Them
By John Piper ©

What does it mean that God clothed [Adam and Eve]? Was he confirming their hypocrisy? Was he aiding and abetting their pretense? If they were naked and shame-free before the Fall, and if they put on clothes to minimize their shame after the Fall, then what is God doing by clothing them even better than they can clothe themselves? I think the answer is that he is doing something with a negative message and something with a positive message.
Negatively, he is saying: You are not what you were and you are not what you ought to be. The chasm between what you are and what you ought to be is huge. Covering yourself with clothing is a right response to this—not to conceal it, but to confess it. Henceforth, you shall wear clothing, not to conceal that you are not what you should be, but to confess that you are not what you should be. One practical implication of this is that public nudity today is not a return to innocence but rebellion against moral reality. God ordains clothes to witness to the glory we have lost, and it is added rebellion to throw them off.
And for those who rebel in the other direction and make clothes themselves a means of power and prestige and attention getting, God’s answer is not a return to nudity but a return to simplicity (1 Timothy 2:9-10). Clothes are not meant to make people think about what is under them. Clothes are meant to direct attention to what is not under them: Arms and hands that serve others in the name of Christ, “beautiful” feet that carry the gospel to where it is needed, and the brightness of a face that has beheld the glory of Jesus.
Modeling Modesty
The mention of the word modesty conjures up images of women in petticoats and bonnets. It has become an outdated notion instead of a desirable trait. Christians are wise to remember that modesty is biblically mandated. It is an attitude that starts in the heart and works outward.
As we narrow our look at modesty to the issue of clothing, it is easily observed that when women of the world head out in the morning, they are not concerned about appearing modest. Instead, most women are heading out hoping that they are in vogue, in fashion and not wearing last year’s styles. Many clamor to be in step with whatever Hollywood has trotted out.
Does God care how we dress? Yes, He does. He cares about every aspect of our lives. We are called to holiness, holiness in what we do, what we say, where we go, how we act, how we think, what we listen to, what we read, what we sing, and yes, how we dress. Scripture bears this out. Read Ephesians 5:8-10, 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 and 1 Peter 1:15 for starters. May God give us both the desire and the wisdom to live lives that are holy in every aspect. A lost world is watching. –Mary K. Mohler
The Modesty Survey Review-
By, Fred Stoeker, best-selling author of Every Man’s Battle series
Girls are in a tough spot when it comes to modesty. They are called by God to dress modestly, but because they aren’t born with the same “visual nature” in their sexuality as guys are, it is difficult for women to spot where modesty begins and ends. Where are the boundaries? What trips a guy’s trigger, and what doesn’t?
As guys, we complicate it further by carelessly sinking to our own lowest levels sexually. Our visual nature first forces God to call women to modesty, depriving them of their freedom to define their own style of dress. While that is frustrating in its own way, their real frustration comes when we only pay attention to the girls in our youth groups that dress hot, while ignoring the ones who dress modestly and chase after God. We expect the women to protect us from our own visual nature by dressing modestly, while doing little to rise above that nature ourselves, allowing them to be penalized twice over for our nature
Who can blame the girl who throws up her hands and snaps, I’m through worrying about this modesty thing! Their eyes are their problem, not mine! I certainly can’t blame them as long as we are being so lazy about it ourselves. We must take care of our own responsibilities first by disciplining our eyes and our minds to line up with scripture if we expect our women to line up in modesty. We are men. We must lead in all this.
And that is what I love about The Modesty Survey. It allows guys to take some responsibility and leadership. We can honestly help train our sisters in Christ about where those boundaries lie and, hopefully, as we think through the issue ourselves, we can begin to stand up as men by joining the Rebelution against low expectations. Expect more of yourself sexually. Begin by honoring those girls around you who are dressing modestly and who are focusing as much on their inner beauty as their outer apparel.
The Modesty Survey: A Project of The Rebelution-
A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations- 1Tim 4:12
The Modesty Survey is an exciting, anonymous discussion between Christian guys and girls who care about modesty. Hundreds of Christian girls contributed to the 148-question survey and over 1,600 Christian guys submitted 150,000+ answers, including 25,000 text responses, over a 20-day period in January 2007. For more information, click here.It has been endorsed by Shaunti Feldhahn (best-selling author of For Women Only), Nancy Leigh DeMoss (author, Revive Our Hearts radio host), Albert Mohler (The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary), Shannon Ethridge (best-selling author of Every Woman’s Battle series), and C.J. Mahaney (Sovereign Grace Ministries) is the home of Alex and Brett Harris and online headquarters for the Rebelution, defined as “a teenage rebellion against low expectations.” To visit the Modesty Survey and view the results, click the link below:


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